Eating

Now mind you, I have no issues with gaining weight naturally and you know, having fun eating. I absolutely love eating and I eat almost as voraciously as I read.
But lately, with my mother's condition, I've been eating a lot more (unhealthy things). Every time I'm about to cry, and every time I'm about to feel sad about myself, and every time I'm about to talk about how crappy my life is, blah blah blah-  I eat.

This has led to an unnatural weight gain, and it's all from junk food.
In my heart of hearts I know I shouldn't eat that one chip, or that scoop of ice cream, but for that moment - it feels so good and sweet in comparison to how I feel.

Perhaps

It's hard to imagine what life would be, if it wasn't as is.
Everyday I look back at the choices I've made, and wonder what could have been, what would be, and who I am.

Perhaps if I had dated that one guy, perhaps if I had studied harder for that one test, perhaps if I had been there for my family/friends when they needed me...

Alas, I don't own a Tardis, so I can't go back in time to change what has happened, but I can very much choose how I'll live and act today.

I can choose to be more straightforward about guys I like, I can choose to take better care of my mom while she battles cancer, I can choose to listen to my friends when they need to talk (instead of making conversations about myself).

I want to be a better person, I'm trying to be a better person, and hopefully it's just a matter of time before I am a better person.