Of Robots and Tardis

It's pretty common knowledge that I classify myself as a "geek".
The thing is, I never expected my friends to really embrace it and help foster it. Every day I feel so thankful for my friends, they always know how to make me feel accepted and cared for.
I still  have all these insecurities from when I was a kid, and despite my outwardly confident appearance, I'm uber insecure on the inside - but I always feel much more okay with myself after a good talk with friends.

So Yesterday, a good friend of mine gave me this gift he got for me when he visited MIT.

Uber exciting stuff, it's a ROBOT HEADPHONE SPLITTER. See, I have this robot hoodie, and it matches ! It's really exciting.


Also today.. I got a DISAPPEARING TARDIS MUG from one of my best childhood friends. Ahhh ! So cool ! Or Hot ! or... both? It MOVES. It.. it's just great.

Baking

Today I baked with two really good friends.
We baked cookies (which were a fail) and brownies (which were a pass!).

The cookies... where to begin. First of all, we didn't have the right ingredients, so we tried winging it... horrible idea, the first batch was just... It was horrible. It was a monster. I think SandMan from Spiderman, would have tasted better than these cookies.

Afterwards, I forced my friends into driving to the local supermarket to purchase the missing ingredients. I prepped the batter by splitting up whatever other ingredients we needed. Upon their return, we remade the batter.

It really felt like we were going to pass this one, and make awesome cookies. The batter tasted delicious! ...Unfortunately, we turned away for one minute too long, we returned to find the bottom of our cookies all burnt ! We then proceeded to split the cookies and just eat the top half from them.

We decided that cookies weren't our thing, and tried brownies... We made the batter and stuff..only to find we didn't have the vegetable oil that was needed. We substituted this with Grapeseed Oil. We felt that it wasn't going to work, but it was worth to at least try. An hour later, we tried a bite of the brownies to find they were delicious!
Can't wait to share them with friends at school tomorrow !

Eating

Now mind you, I have no issues with gaining weight naturally and you know, having fun eating. I absolutely love eating and I eat almost as voraciously as I read.
But lately, with my mother's condition, I've been eating a lot more (unhealthy things). Every time I'm about to cry, and every time I'm about to feel sad about myself, and every time I'm about to talk about how crappy my life is, blah blah blah-  I eat.

This has led to an unnatural weight gain, and it's all from junk food.
In my heart of hearts I know I shouldn't eat that one chip, or that scoop of ice cream, but for that moment - it feels so good and sweet in comparison to how I feel.

Perhaps

It's hard to imagine what life would be, if it wasn't as is.
Everyday I look back at the choices I've made, and wonder what could have been, what would be, and who I am.

Perhaps if I had dated that one guy, perhaps if I had studied harder for that one test, perhaps if I had been there for my family/friends when they needed me...

Alas, I don't own a Tardis, so I can't go back in time to change what has happened, but I can very much choose how I'll live and act today.

I can choose to be more straightforward about guys I like, I can choose to take better care of my mom while she battles cancer, I can choose to listen to my friends when they need to talk (instead of making conversations about myself).

I want to be a better person, I'm trying to be a better person, and hopefully it's just a matter of time before I am a better person.